SPIRITUAL ANALYSIS: *What is Love?*

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

-Lucille Ball

Hey everyone!

One of my favorite songs is entitled "What is Love" by Vivian Green. It has a really mellow beat and I can listen to it on repeat for hours and just relax. Today I was listening to the song and for the first time, I actually listened to the words in the song... normally I sing along with her (off-key, lol!) and jam to the music. However today, after LISTENING to the words, I started to realize that I could really relate to them. I was essentially the woman in the song... That kind of got to me and it made me start analyzing how I ended up in that position...Before I go on, take a look at the lyrics:

Vivian Green - "What is Love?"

Verse 1

Maybe I am foolishly in love with someone that is

Not exactly on the same page that I am on

Well all my friends keep telling me stop walking round so blindly

But when he calls they're not around to ever remind me

Chorus

Maybe this isn't love

But if it isn't love then really What is Love

Maybe I don't really need to know What's love

Cuz when he's around he got me feeling some kinda way

(Repeat 1x)

Verse 2

I guess I kinda noticed he don't always act so kindly

But that doesn't stop my hunger, hunger for his heart

Now should I listen to those who think that I should move on

Maybe what they see as drama I see more as art

(Chorus)

Bridge

I can't seem to get past what he makes me feel

It may not be love, but it feels so real

Can't go with what they say must follow my heart

But now is that even being true to me

May not be happy, truly content

But maybe this is as good as it gets

But it may be my confidence so now I'm just thinking all hopelessly

(Chorus)

(Instrumental)

Listen to the song below:

For a long time, I depended on other people to bring me my happiness. I always focused on what people wanted me to be instead of what I wanted to be. This brought a lot of unhappiness in my life because it seemed like the harder I tried to please others, the more I would fail. This also directly ties to my past relationships with men.

I NEVER felt pretty while I was in a relationship. Even if the guy that I was with told me that I was beautiful, I wouldn't believe it. In my mind, things like that were said because he only wanted one thing... I had been through several rocky relationships and each one had me feeling lower than the last. After a while, I convinced myself that my extreme feelings of insecurity were normal among women around my age, body shape and size. I couldn't fathom having a man in my life that would say all of those positive things and actually mean them....to me, that was just a dream...

This song encompasses a lot of what I did and what I went through in the past. I had several relationships were guys tested me both mentally, physically and spiritually...and sadly, I failed every one of those tests.

After lots of prayer, reflecting and soul-searching, I was finally able to stand in front of a mirror, hold my head up high and say "YES, I AM BEAUTIFUL!". Through reading the bible and talking to spiritual people, I had learned to appreciate who I am and then I began to love myself. Don't get me wrong, I still have days in which I feel low, unloved, unappreciated and ugly, but I just remember that God LOVES me so much that he has forgiven me of all my sins through the blood of Jesus Christ! (John 3:16)

I might have rambled or I might have gone completely off topic, but this song really brought back some painful memories...while at the same time giving me hope. I have come a long way from the extremely shy and insecure girl I once was and I've got a long way to go...

...the journey continues...

Peace,

nNb Y